SOME of what I'm thinking...

1. The New Yorker

Barack Obama was in for it from the get, when his parents bestowed his middle name. But then Fox News got involved when it featured two white women having a ridiculous discussion about the meaning of the Obamas' fist bump (in conjunction, it must be noted, with a slightly less ridiculous discussion about the meaning of Bush's chest bump with an Air Force cadet). The story was about body language and what it means today, and the problem was that the Fox reporter proposed the possibility that the Obama gesture was "a terrorist fist jab."

Wow. If so, there are a lot of terrorists among us.

Anyway, now my once beloved New Yorker has entered the fray with a mind-bogglingly tasteless cover depicting the Obamas as... well, I won't even repeat the miserable array of falsehoods and stereotypes that are reinforced by Barry Blitt's cover illustration, complete with American flag burning in the fireplace.

Ugh. Yes, we all get it, and ha ha ha. But it's offensive because regardless of its high-minded satirical intentions, it reiterates a whole slew of very problematic notions about the Democratic nominee and his wife that didn't need reiterating.

On a certain level, this is right up there with Jesse Jackson's recent faux pas.

What's up with all of this sabotage from the left?!

2. My New Mini Cooper

Just swapped a 2005 Cooper S for a 2008 Cooper S (the lease was up, okay?!). I'm not going to write an automotive review here, but there is one glaring problem that must be noted, and urgently: in my '05, the dealer-installed iPod adapter lived inconspicuously in the glove box. In the '08, the factory installed adapter is at the bottom of the center console, so not only is there a big ugly cable sticking out of the dash at all times, but every time I park my car I have to unplug my iPod and slip it into the secret compartment in the dash WHICH SHOULD HOUSE THE USB/IPOD ADAPTER. That little secret compartment is one of the coolest design updates. The fact that the iPod adapter isn't housed inside it is so stupid that I can't believe BMW is responsible for it.

On a related note, I MISS MY HARMAN KARDON. The new nameless sound system is a sorry substitute for BMW's former longtime audio partner.

But on the whole I'm happy enough with the new ride, especially, well, the new ride. The suspension is so much more luxurious, the ride so much smoother, and the seats - oh, the seats. Like night and day. The new seats are Recaro-like compared to the old. And the new ride is that of a luxury sports car, whereas the old one was more go-cart-like.

Motor on, and Obama '08.